Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Day 89: A book review

I just got done reading this book:


I picked it up (from the library of course) because the premise seemed interesting. I had never connected intelligence with anxiety. I figured it would be about "gifted" children but the definition of "smart kid" seemed to mean a child who uses his or her intelligence as a tool to overthink things.

The author's view is that when a child's intellectual maturity is greater than his or her emotional and physical maturity, and especially when the emotional maturity is less than the chronological age, anxiety increases. This is largely due in part to knowledge opening up a whole field of things to worry about. A child who is able to logically reason "if this, then this" without the emotional maturity to put things in perspective is going to experience a lot of worry.

She uses the example of fourth grade Mark, who can't focus in class because he is worried about getting good grades, going on to college, and ultimately being able to support his wife and children. She also shares a story about herself at age four overhearing a relative's childbirth story and letting this worry build up to the point where she woke her mother up late one night to tell her she was afraid to have a baby. I'm pretty sure I have been both the child and the parent in this exact scenario.

The last part of the book focuses on practical exercises when a child's anxiety is getting out of control. I found a couple that seemed promising and have implemented one of them already (The Five Questions Tool, which essentially limits the number of questions that can be asked about any particular worry per day).

I've read many books on anxiety and found this one resonated with me more than the others. It's an easy, conversational tone largely based on personal experience as a counselor rather than studies and statistics. Give it a read if you have an anxious kid or just know one.


No comments:

Post a Comment