Day 28: Why baking my own bread isn't as bad as I thought

I feel frustrated sometimes by feeling like I'm choosing between two equally annoying options: I can spend two hours baking bread or I can spend five dollars per very small loaf.

Lately I've been making a lot of my own baked goods. Yes, my time is worth more than $2.50 an hour, but I like knowing what goes into my bread (or anything, for that matter). Plus, even though it seems inconvenient, it's sometimes a small oasis in my day. I like being forced to slow down and think about what I'm doing.

I also have to conserve my daily bread allowance and make a conscious choice when to spend it. When I was buying a loaf of wheat bread, a loss of a few slices was no big deal. I could always buy another huge loaf at the store for a dollar. Nowadays, whether it's a loaf I spent my time or (a lot of) my money on, I cringe if it molds or someone takes one bite and throws it out.

I'm sure it's helped me to make better dietary choices as well. When the bread was cheap and ever present, I'm sure I chose that over something that might have been better for me. Now I have to decide if my craving for bread is worth the time.

Here's the bread I make when I want to have some on hand for sandwiches. The recipe can also be converted to hamburger buns. I haven't tried it that way yet, but plan to in the summer.

Days 25-27: That's one small step for man, about a billion steps backward for this Compactor

Day 25: Still trying to clean out my inbox. Came across such gems as this: "Congratulations. You're 33 weeks pregnant!"

Um, no. No, I'm not. I have no idea why I decided to save that email for posterity but it has since been ruthlessly deleted, along with "one day only!" coupons from March of 2011.

Now that I'm down to single digit emails, I'm staying on top of things.

Day 26: Dead car battery. On the downside, it was out of warranty and I had to buy a new one. On the upside, I found a nickel in the parking lot of the auto parts store. So it wasn't a total loss.

Day 27: After a lot of thought and number crunching (and my husband's convincing), I broke down and bought a Smart Phone. Our plan will remain about the same price point and in many ways, it's more beneficial to the family for me to have one rather than stand my ground against it. Keeping marital harmony=choosing my battles, folks.

I bought the phone on Ebay, and **thought** I was buying a barely used one. Turns out I bid on the wrong one and it's new. Hmm. Wishful thinking that since it's from an individual and not a company, it might be similar to buying a new item at Goodwill. Does that make it better?

Not giving up yet, although one step forward, seventeen steps back seems to be the motto this week.

Days 18-24: The endless winter

Day 18: I just got an email stating that I'm in the top 13% of savers at CVS Pharmacy. Does this mean I'm also in the top 13% of spenders? I'm not sure if I should be proud of this or not. I must say that I buy consumable items (milk, some groceries if it's an excellent deal, and shampoo/soap/etc**.) but sometimes having that coupon tricks me into a false sense of savings.

**I tried making my own but it went terribly, terribly wrong. My daughter has a greasy haired kindergarten picture in the yearbook to prove it.

I do plan to cut back this year though. I think I have enough toiletries to get through any natural disaster with plenty to spare for donations. In fact, this is after donating tons last year.

Day 19: I had a dream that under the guise of buying toilet paper or some such thing, I wandered into a forbidden area of a department store. Before I came to my senses, I was about to purchase seven candles. Candles? Ummm...I don't buy candles. I'm a girl in biology only. (And okay, emotionally as well.) Needless to say, this was a completely unnerving dream on many levels. Apparently, my desire to buy is being tested subconsciously. Oh, and there was no symbolic meaning to the number of candles other than the fact that I think they were $5 for seven.

Day 19 (later): Despite my well stocked toiletries cabinet, I ran out of Bandaids. It was 10 p.m. and I wasn't about to go to the store. I folded up a square of tissue and used tape to attach it to my finger.

Day 20: Grocery store ads are starting to lure me in with tempting deals. Must...buy...cheap...tilapia...

Day 21: Two-hour delays becoming commonplace. The slow pace this morning provided ample time to discuss DNA and state capitals. Both subjects came up naturally in conversation. I struggle with being a source of education for my kids and overloading them with random facts they aren't ready to understand.

To offset these scholastic endeavors, there was also plenty of time for puzzle making.

Called about a fee I was charged due to a mistake (mine) and got it waived. A little politeness, can't-hurt-to-ask attitude, and three minutes saved $25.

Cooked a company worthy meal without grocery shopping. All ingredients located in pantry and freezer. Feeling humbled and blessed by how rich I am.

Day 22: My husband ripped out a wall in our bathroom with his bare hands, then told me to come document his accomplishment. It looks so much more roomy now, but that will quickly change when we start putting fixtures back in.

He also bought me a brand new ice scraper/brush. In that it was (a): a gift and (b): purchased with a gift card, does that count against me?

Day 23: A tropical day! High 30's without much wind. I went for a walk and felt my mood immensely improved. Exercise and fresh air= a free cure for feeling a little down in the dumps.

Day 24: Sunshine again today but bitterly cold. How many days until February? Trying to count my blessings anyway: warmth, family, plenty of resources, and love.

Days 11-:17 This week I'm... (Jan 14th-

--Looking for just the right pair of jeans to supplement my meager stash. Four pairs just doesn't work I've learned, when I'm too distracted to do laundry on a regular basis and the pair of jeans desperately in need of hemming always turns up in the rotation on the most snowy, puddly days.

I guess I could just hem them. I'm pretty sure I'm done growing. I keep thinking I can always wear them with heels.

Right. While carrying an 18 month old, a diaper bag, a purse, and anything else I need to take along with me on a given day.

Anyway, another pair of jeans is on my short list. I'm noticing something weird, though. The more I declutter and focus on really appreciating what I own, the less I want to just throw away money --even $5--on something "sort of okay." If I'm going to only own five pairs of pants, I want them to be the most awesome five pairs of pants known to man.

--Procrastinating less since I'm not buying any craft supplies I can't get used and getting down to that pile I've had sitting around for awhile. The clock above is one I made for Little Girl's room.

I had an old clock from a certain big box store that sells tires and kale under the same roof. I bought it years ago for a couple of bucks just because I needed something to tell time. It was super ugly but functional, so I kept it.

(Side note: Being a compacter is great but being a compacter with a consumer past is helpful too. Provides raw materials.)

--Celebrating that I found a floor lamp for the living room! I took some donations to Goodwill and happened to spot the perfect one. I was really close to just caving and buying a new one but I'm glad I didn't.

--Hanging some black and white photos above that couch pictured above. Note to self: When ordering prints that go two to a frame, make sure one isn't horizontal layout and the other vertical. I now have a nice Easter picture of us all lying down. Oops. Ah, well. Life lessons...

--Trying to spend five minutes a day unsubscribing from all the email lists I have somehow been added to over the years. They all want me to buy, buy, buy! Unless you're Goodwill, it's not happening. Even then, I'll have to think long and hard first.

--Sewing leggings for Little Girl from some outgrown ones of Big Girl's. It hit me that they are essentially the same waist size (after factoring in the cloth diaper bum) when I accidentally dressed LG in BG's size 4 clothes one day and didn't notice for an embarrassingly long time. No wonder they were dragging...

I cut about an inch off the side of each leg and about five inches off the bottoms.

Size 24 month polka dot pants to use as a guide.

Why yes, I do use red thread if it's what's already in the machine...

--Enjoying my first "eat out" meal in two weeks. In an effort to de-clutter my life, I was ruthless with the pantry as well and tried to make meals from what I already owned. I spent $15 more on groceries each week but it was worth it in the long run. Bonus: no cross contamination stomachaches.

--Buying new wisely. I used some Christmas money to purchase bike helmets for both girls. This is an area where I would rather not purchase used unless I know the history and/or previous owner. I'm not super paranoid but I don't want to stick to my convictions at all costs if the risk isn't worth it.

Day 10: The original compacter in my life

I owe my mom an apology. For years (the teenage ones, surprise!) I was inexcusably rude and critical of her frugality and environmental concern. I remember one year at camp she turned an envelope inside out and used it to mail me a letter. I called her tacky.

Years later, I found out how hurtful that was. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know why she turned the envelope inside out. Was it that she couldn't afford a new one? No, it was because she decided early on to minimize her effect on the planet. She was "carbon footprint" conscious before it was the in thing. 

My mom and dad choose to live with very few possessions so that they actually use what they own. They can quickly find what they need because it's not buried under a bunch of useless junk. They also don't throw out a lot of trash because they aren't making any. But their simple lifestyle doesn't make them cheap or miserly; in fact they are the most generous people I know and I hope to reach at least half the level of their hospitality and kindness. 

Whenever I do something seemingly insignificant that I hope makes a difference anyway, I think of my mom and how she led the way. I hope my daughters don't grow up and call me tacky but if they do, I'll take a lesson from my parents and be true to myself anyway. They'll understand soon enough.

Day 9: Being seen

It was in the grocery store. My list was short, my co-shoppers were alert, and I was well supplied with toddler distractions.

For whatever reason, on aisle #1 the youngest member of our group decided she was through with this trip and began to loudly voice her desire to be elsewhere and attempt to leap from the cart. The cart, I might add, that had the distinction of being The Only One in the Store Without a Seatbelt. Yeah. That one. Right up there with The Cart With the Wheel That Doesn't Swivel. Woe to the person who finds a cart that combines these two features.

I hear a lot about how God sees us. I know for a fact that He saw us then. So did about 17 other people who happened to be doing their weekly grocery shopping. I guess I always thought God saw us in the sense that He knows we exist. Or in the same sense we might tell our kids that Santa Claus is watching, so don't you dare mess up!

Anyway, Perfect Mother might have abandoned her cart and tried again after a nap (for the kid, not herself. Though that might not be a bad idea either.) But I can either be Perfect Mother by disciplining properly or I can be Perfect Mother by not starving my family. The two do not always coincide.

At the checkout:

Cashier: "How are you today?"
Me: "Great!"

a. I was not great
b. She knew I was not great
c. I'm not sure if b. makes a. better or worse

I then proceeded to attempt to bag my groceries while keeping my head down so as not to make eye contact with the store I was sure was criticizing everything about me.


Then I heard a voice: "Can I help you bag your groceries? I have a few minutes free."

No judgment. No irritation.

"I have four kids of my own so I know these things happen."

Five minutes later as I'm pushing the cart with one hand and snuggling a sniffling toddler with the other: "Can I help you to your car?"

He didn't seem to be much past high school. "I have nieces and nephews," he explained, as he pushed my cart, helped me load the back of the van, then returned my cart to the stall.

I don't know how God works. I don't know if those people felt a nudge or what. But in that moment, I knew God saw me in a way that I had never considered before. A way that offers help without any sense of judgment.

There are many more good days (like most parents, I know I have the best kids in the world) but on those rare bad days, it's good to know God sees me.

Day 8: Saturday randomness

My first quandary: what to give a school friend of Big Girl's for an upcoming birthday? Normally I would make something along the lines of an interest but this party being so close after Christmas it kind of caught me unaware.

Determined to stay true to my decision to not buy stuff just for the sake of buying stuff (and operating under the assumption that this child's mom feels similarly that toys are taking over her life) I pondered this dilemma.

Finally, inspiration! A play date to the zoo when the weather warms up. No waste, no little pieces to keep up with, and a future memory to be made.

The floor lamp search continues. I scouted out the local Goodwills today and found nothing but a strange brass concoction circa 1989 or so. No thanks.

I did find this, marked confusingly as an "auto min." For roughly five minutes I wondered how in the world one would use this in a car, and finally figured out it's the phonetic spelling of "ottoman." Auto min or ottoman, I have been looking for just such a storage container for Big Girl's toys. The lime green is an asset and not a liability in this case.

Despite my shortage of floor lamps, I somehow managed to run out of lightbulbs. I considered the alternatives briefly but rejected the idea of using candles. To me, lightbulbs fall into the category of acceptable under The Compact (I decided to just go ahead and take the leap and formally commit). I did, however, try to buy a good brand, rather than the ones that burned out in three and a half minutes. I'm thinking of it as an investment of sorts.

I also found this 100% Merino wool yarn, thrifted. One of my New Year's goals is to learn to knit socks. I got some double pointed needles for Christmas and found some others, thrifted. I'm delighted that The Compact does not preclude crafting; one just has to get creative about it.

Day 7: Mmmm Mmmm Mung Bean

I recently discovered the deliciousness that is (are?) mung beans.**

**Blushing...sorry, Mom. I know you taught me subject/verb agreement at some point during my 12 year homeschooling career but I have forgotten and am too lazy at the moment to consult a grammar book.

Health food? Well, no.

But then again, aside from some additional vitamins and protein, spaghetti noodles aren't exactly a wonder food either. Not to mention that to people like me, they're significantly UNhealthier if I end up getting sick from them. I solved the lack of protein by stir frying with some pork and leftover veggies. To say I am scraping the bottom of my fridge after the snowstorm might be an understatement.

Mung bean noodles (also called sai fun) are unique but fun to cook with. There's something to be said for the novelty of eating clear noodles.

So give mung beans a try. You might hate them but then again, you might find a new vehicle for stir fry when you are totally burned out on rice.

Day 6: Potato starch and the run on groceries

I'm down to my last half bag of potato starch. Usually I buy it online but noticed Amazon has doubled the price. Ninety-six ounces is almost $27. I happened to have a coupon from our local health food store for $7 off a purchase of $30. For $28 (after tax) I got this:

I got 120 oz. of potato starch and 32 oz. of tapioca flour. (I have plenty on order from Amazon but I bought all the potato starch they had and my total was short.) I also bought a box of Annie's GF bunny cookies which my daughter **needed** for her school lunch.

I also attempted to buy milk and discovered that there is no milk to be had in this town unless you want Lactaid, soy, or organic. I ended up buying a $3 half gallon of organic milk because the lady at Kroger said they "might" get a shipment in "late tonight." She then qualified: "very late tonight."

That hurt a little bit but I weighed my options and figured it was better to have milk at all than to risk them being completely sold out at a later date.

When I was at the grocery store Saturday (just to pick up cornmeal and one other thing I can't get at Aldi) I noticed that the shelves were bare of flour and someone told me the bread shelf was cleaned out as well. Sometimes it pays to be gluten free. At least there isn't a mad run on potato starch when bad weather is predicted.

Day 5: Starting to like my house

Now that the roads are (slightly more) clear, I'm not sure if I really want to leave. I've started to kind of like being snowed in. I did a major decluttering in several rooms and for the first time in awhile all the rooms got mopped at the same time.

Despite some rooms looking like this:

I really have a great house to get snowed into. Thankfully we have power, water, and plenty of food (in fact, except for milk and vegetables, I don't think I need to go grocery shopping anytime soon, even after the roads are safe). In addition to having everything we need, we have an embarrassing amount of stuff I'd forgotten we owned. Yesterday we unearthed several card games and old music CD's and Big Girl got the enjoyment of rediscovery. And let's face it, I had fun learning I play a mean game of Crazy 8's.

Also as pictured above, we have made lots of headway on our latest project: the master bathroom. This room is basically going to be put together from scratch. It will be lots of work but fun, if past projects are any indication.

Day 4: I own four pairs of pants

Yesterday was super productive for me: my kitchen got cleaned like never before and my kids were awesome together! They played together with no fighting and no tears for half an hour while I scrubbed the stove.

I also managed to find the bottoms of all our laundry baskets. As much as I love my clothesline, there are certain days when I'm extremely grateful for my dryer. Yesterday was one of them.

Upon organizing my closet, I came to the realization that I own only four pairs of pants (five if you count the pair that I keep meaning to take in to fit) and this is delightful to me. For years I have dreamed of a streamlined closet where I wear everything I own and it's all able to mix and match. I still have a way to go to have a truly minimalist closet but I can dream.

Day 3: -11 is cold

I went outside for about 10 seconds just to see exactly how cold negative temps feel. It didn't feel too bad since the wind wasn't blowing where I was, but the sky was shimmering (sort of like a heat wave in reverse??) When I came inside, my legs were cold for five minutes, so apparently it was colder than it felt.

The weather has been a good teammate in my mindful spending challenge; however, it is making me a little stir crazy. Confession: despite my frugality, I get bored at home, and since there's only so many times one can go to the library in a week, I frequently engage in cheap retail therapy. I go to Goodwill like some people go to the mall. While sometimes I emerge empty handed, most times I find something that I didn't know I needed that I end up buying. Sometimes I choose well (the half dozen new drinking glasses I purchased for a quarter each right before breaking four of my existing ones in a row comes to mind) but other times I just buy cheap clutter that ended up being re-donated before long.

My mom has a multi-step process that she uses to determine whether or not to buy something, even at a thrift store. When she told me about it, I wondered "what's the big deal? Why not just spend the $2 and take the risk."

I see her wisdom now. It's not just the $2, it's the time and mental energy involved in purchasing, bringing it home, cleaning it up, finding a home for it, and (sometimes) dealing with the guilt of getting rid of it soon afterward.

One of my good purchases which has gotten a lot of play lately

Today I've been thinking about perspective. I remember when I worked for a catalog company (back in the day when people placed orders over the telephone from paper catalogs) many people called post 9/11 and ordered their items sent next day. When I told them I was unable to ship airmail a lot of people were frustrated, until I reminded them that all planes were grounded. It's so easy to get caught up in my own world that I don't look at the bigger picture. No matter how stir crazy I get, I'm trying to stay mindful of those who have to be out today: emergency personnel, highway workers, and mail carriers (despite the motto, surely there is an exception today??)

Day 2: spending nothing but time

Today, we, along with much of the country, are experiencing severe weather. Temperatures are in the 30's today but expected to drop to the negative teens tomorrow.

Church was cancelled so we spent the morning playing in the snow while the windchill is reasonable.

Four other families on our block were out as well. I joked that we should have the annual block party today since I saw more of our neighbors outside this morning than I see on any given day in the summer.

Our neighbor used his snowblower to plow our driveway. When we asked what we could do to thank him, he said he had gotten the machine for free so was just paying it forward.

I'm very blessed to have such kind friends and neighbors. Having moved from an area where we knew only one neighbor well, I love going outside and being able to greet most everyone I see by name.

I bought nothing today but gained an abundance of kindness and joy.

Day 1: replacement glass and rain boots

As I was unwrapping a Christmas gift of picture frames preparatory to framing several family photos for a gallery wall in the living room, Little Girl decided to try out her newly found walking skills nearby. Still unsteady on her feet, she collapsed right in the middle of one of the frames, cracking the glass.

Three days prior, I had decided to spend 2014 buying used and making do as much as possible. This was an inauspicious beginning.

Admittedly, I did check Wal-Mart's website for picture frame prices (since we got gift cards for Christmas). Fortunately, I remembered Goodwill's monthly 50% off sale and decided to check there first.

I was not disappointed in the picture frame selection. For 99 cents, I found a brand new frame whose glass fit perfectly. I don't have a use for the frame portion so I will either re-donate or save it in my craft area in case I need a glass-less frame sometime soon.

I also came across a pair of worn but still great condition snow boots for next winter or the following for Big Girl. I bought a pair for this year from Ebay that were half price but still way more than the $1.48 I paid for these. Yes, they are three sizes too big but eventually they will get use by two girls.

I also found half a pair of rain boots for which I left my name and number in the hopes that the match shows up. They were also $1.48, although if and when they do locate them, I doubt I will get the raincheck price so they will cost a whopping $2.99.

Today, I also bought some pipe caps to temporarily cap off the bathroom sink pipes while we remodel. I bought new.

Coming out of hibernation with a new focus

I haven't kept up with blogging for the past six weeks or so simply because life got too busy and because I wanted to evaluate my reason for blogging in the first place.

I've always loved writing so my primary reason is simply to keep the writerly side of myself alive, despite the busyness of daily life. Secondly, in aforementioned busyness, the days tend to slide together, and it's always good to go back and look at the journal of my life, even if it's mundane and ordinary.

I've really struggled with finding a theme for my blog over the past two years that I've haphazardly blogged, and I think for 2014 I want to focus on the concept of mindful spending.

While my frugality is so ingrained I don't think I could become a spendthrift if I wanted, I don't think of myself as miserly (my blog name is mostly just to be catchy). I have a hard time overspending for certain things, but I don't ever want to become tightfisted toward my family or to those in need. One of the benefits of cutting back my spending is to be able to bless the less fortunate.

So I have recently become intrigued by the idea of buying nothing new. In fact, there's group of people who sign a compact every year (called, appropriately enough, The Compact) not to buy new, excluding certain items such as food, underwear, or anything else that really can't be obtained used.

I'm not going to do anything official, but I am going to try to make this year the year in which I really try to do away with unnecessary spending to free up some clutter and find joy and contentment in people and not things.

Speaking of joy:

My backyard